If your mother in law is declared not competent by her doctors, then your wife can act under the power of attorney, but it sounds like that only applies to health care issues. Another alternative could be a conservatorship, but that is pretty drastic and may create a lot of tension in the family.

I am sorry that they have reached this point in their lives. Unfortunately, it is hard not only to see them declining but also to bear the burdens created by their condition.

While they are still competent, they are entitled to their civil rights and can make their own decisions. If they have reached the point where their failure/inability to make decisions is causing them harm, then action should be taken. There are a couple of ways to do this. First, I assume that the power of attorney for healthcare will only entitle your wife to make decisions regarding their healthcare, NOT their placement.

The next choice is to seek appointment of a conservator. This can be done by filing petitions with the probate court seeking appointment. You will need to get their doctors on board with this issue. In other words, the appointment of a conservator is going to be based on the doctor's determination of their condition.

If the doctors believe that they are potentially in danger due to their condition and that they are "gravely disabled as a result of a mental disorder", the doctors can make a referral to the LA County Public Guardian's office to seek appointment of what is called an LPS conservator. The action is then taken by the county to seek appointment of a conservator. This is helpful in that you/your wife are not the ones who are seeking to take anything away from your wife's parents. It's the county. This might help alleviate tension that might arise if your wife files a petition for appointment as conservator.

If an LPS conservator is appointed you/your wife can be substituted in as conservator as there is a definite preference for capable family members in place of the public guardian.

If their doctors do not make referrals to the public guardian for LPS conservatorship or if they are not "gravely disabled as a result of a mental disorder", but a lesser degree of impairment but still potentially in danger due to their condition, then the probate conservatorship appears to be the correct way to get them into an appropriate level of care. From your question it seems as though they are incapable and/or unwilling to get the level of care that they really need.

Let me know if you would like to consult/discuss this matter.

Sincerely,

Caleb

email: donner@lawyer.com

It's difficult when aging couples have different care needs. You can't blame your father in law for not wanting to give up his independence. But obviously, your mother in law's health comes first.

You might try to find a elder community that has both an assisted living and an independent living aspect to it. Your wife's mom could then live in the assisted side and her dad in the independent side, but they would be close by.

It would also help if the current independent living facility where they are living would weigh in on the issue and say that your mother in law needs a higher level of care than they could provide. They certainly have liability exposure if they retain an elder who needs a higher level of care, and the falls are certainly evidence of that. Have your mother in law's doctor provide the independent living facility a letter stating that she needs a higher level of care. Once they get that letter, they will not by law be able to let her continue to live in an independent apartment. That would force your father in law's hand and require a move.

In your place, I would not go the route of having a conservator appointed. Try enlisting the help of a professional geriatric care manager -- www.caremanager.org has a listing by city -- to talk to your father in law.

Good luck.

You can't 'force' them into a facility unless you obtain a Guardianship or Conservatorship over them, by filing that action in the Probate Court. The court will require evidence that they can't make good decisions for themselves, and need someone to be responsible for them. If serious about doing so, feel free to contact me.