Legal Question in Family Law in Connecticut

My ex husband demands a childcare schedule every week and if he does not receive one refuses to reimburse me daycare costs that are court mandated because he says "I am preventing him from exercising his rights as a father" and therefore he does not have to pay me. I provide him with daycare receipts and he still maintains he will not reimburse me unless I give him a schedule. The childrens daycare schedule coincides obviously with my work schedule and I do not want to provide him with a schedule because he continues to exercise control over me and wants to know where I am at all times. I've told him the daycare receipts and my provision of the letter to the court that I work fulltime by my employer which was already provided is suitable enough. He indicates that he wants the boys care schedule so he can make a decision to pick them up if he doesn't have to work on a particular day but when I ask him to just call me if he wants to get them he refuses to provide me with days and times. His visitation is only every other weekend and he is consistently late and never sees the children more than what is ordered by the court. What are my rights here. Just because I am the custodial parent, why do I feel like I need to remain under this mans thumb for the rest of my life now that we are divorced?

He has threatened my past nanny with loss of her job if she did not provide him with information at his request. He makes constant demands and I either submit to his requests or am punished with nonpayment of support or verbal tirades. He indicates he intends to degrade me to our children once they are older because he insists I was unfaithful during our marriage - I was not - and requests that I give him custody of our children. Despite my dislike for him, I consistently have not interfered with his visitation and have been flexible with his pick-up and drop off times despite what the court order says. I feel I am intitled to privacy and am fearful his communication with the nanny will be bothersome and threatening causing her to quit. I am a salaried medical professional and as such my work hours change by the moment. On occasion I am required to stay to manage patient emergencies so providing him with an accurrate schedule in advance is not possible. Furthermore, he already says I work too much and am a bad mother for choosing work over my children. I support a household by myself and did not request alimony because I am capable of managing financially on my own. Child support and daycare costs were awarded to me by the court. I see my children every evening after work and every other weekend as many other working mothers. I do not want to be bullied into submission any longer and would like privacy. Why can't he contact me to pick-up the children outside regular visitation hours? I don't see why my every move needs to be chronicled for him. Please provide insight.


Asked on 7/25/12, 10:00 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

John Heffernan Heffernan Legal Group, LLP

If it were just the stuff in the first pargraph of your question, you could probably handle it yourself with a contempt motion. But with the threatening of the nanny, etc., my guess is this too much for a lay person. I'd recommend you hire a lawyer and prepare for a showdown that will finally put an end to his control tactics. Sorry, but bullies need to be slapped down by a judge.

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Answered on 7/25/12, 10:26 am


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