Assumingt that husband does no estate planning at all, the pension is a non-probate asset. She can use the money as she wants.
The wife and daughter get a family allowance, which can be money or the equivalent value in the cars or other assets. This allowance is exempt from claims of creditors or other debts of the estate and comes off the top.
Depending on what assets and debts there are, these things may have to be sold if there is not enough money in the estate. The estate, not the wife, is responsible for the husband's debts. If they are for necessaries, like medical expenses, wife could possibly be liable for such debts, but the estate is responsible in the first instance.
If there are any assets remaining after the spousal/family allowance and any debts are paid, then the assets would be divided between the wife and children as per the state intestacy laws.
I agree with Attorney Davidson, that with proper planning probate can be minimized and even eliminated. If the man does not want to put wife's name on the house, he should consider setting up a trust and deeding his home to the trust. The trust can then own the home and allow the wife to live there following the husband's death. He can also provide for his children. In the even he sets up a trust, he still needs a pourover will.
If he does not wish to incur the expense of a trust, he needs a regular will. He should also consider amending the deed to his home to grant his wife a life estate so that she will be able to continue to reside in the home.
These are some general suggestions. I obviously am not acquainted with the circumstances nor do I have knowledge of the assets and debts. Husband, if he is still alive, and wife need to see an estate planning attorney to decide what is the best option for them. This is especially important as husband and wife have a minor child.
