Re: StepParent Adoption Procedures

I am assuming the child was born in California. If you were not married to the father, he has not taken the child into his home nor supported the child and has not filed a voluntary declaration of paternity, you do not need to terminate his rights by abandonement. You simply need to serve him with a notice to alleged father and file the proof of service with the court where you file your adoption petition. You then wait thirty days and check with the court to see if he has filed a paternity action. If he has not, you file an application to dispencse with petition to determine necessity of consent. Its a little complicated to do yourself. Maybe you can find an attorney or adoption paralegal to help you with the paperwork and make sure it is done right for a small fee while still representing yourself. I think you could find someone for $300 to $500 to do the paperwork assuming he doesnt file the paternity action. If he does it will cost more to complete the adoption but he will not have any rights if he has taken no responsibilty for such a long time.

John A. Giffen

Re: StepParent Adoption Procedures

If you really want to avoid this blowing up in your face, my advice is to contact the birth dad immediately, and give him all the reasons it would benefit him to consent to the adoption. For instance, no possibility that you could ever come after him for child support...most birth dads that opt out of a kid's life would have no problem with it. Are you afraid that if you contact him he will want custody or visitation? If so, you are asking for trouble trying to do this by alleging abandonment. He can come back at any time and contest that if he really wants contact, so you'd have no peace of mind. I have had birth parents agree that the dad will keep his whereabouts kinown to the mom, so the child can have contact with him if he/she so chooses. Amicable is by far the best if you can do it.