Re: Using husband's and his elderly mother's bank card

The safest answer is yes, you should have your mother-in-law's permission. I'm assuming that the money in the account was contributed by her, not your husband. In such a case, your mother-in-law probably intended that you act as her fiduciaries, meaning you have access to the money, but only to use it for her benefit, not yours. You should, if you can, get her permission for this loan, and get such permission for any future loans (or spending from this account) from her in writing to protect yourself.

Such caution is warranted, because California has new elder abuse statutes that can categorize common family transactions like this as "financial elder abuse."

Re: Using husband's and his elderly mother's bank card

IT IS TOO LATE TO GET HER PERMISSION SO LET'S GO FOR RATIFICATION.

I doubt that you think your ex-husband's mother would want you to borrow the money out of her account. If that were the case you would certainly ask her permission which you did not do. So you knew she would not lend you the money. That means you intentionally took money against the wishes of the owner of the account. But, you say, his mother is only a joint owner of the bank account. Doesn't he have the right to lend out that part of the account that belongs to him? Yes but how do you know what portion is his? If the mother originally put in 100% of the account into the bank and the son put in zero, then the son has no right to any of the money and only has a survivor's interest. This means that the son will become the owner of the entire bank account after his mother dies but until then he has no right to the account except as the mother and son have agreed. My great fear is that he is abusing her financially which can be imputed to you as an accessory if you are not careful.

If the son put in 100% of the money and the mother put in zero then the son can do what he wants to with the money because it is his.

If the son and the mother put in 50%/50% then you should view the bank account as a partnership asset and stay out of it. You might get away with it but if someone accused the son of fiduciary abuse against his mother for any reason you could be seen as an accessory.

My suggestion is that you go to the mother and gently explain your situation and get her to agree that you are a good person to loan money to and draw up a contract to pay back the bank account.

The purpose of the little contract (it can be a one-pager) is to show anyone who questions you that whatever else may be true, the elderly lady RATIFIED the loan and gave you retroactive permission.

I hope you can do this gracefully and that you will have no problems with this very normal, not very serious, situation.

Regarding your holding the bank card. You can hold it since they gave you their permission but you had better protect yourself by keeping records of what you buy with it and again, get a little note in writing that they are letting you use the card and for what purpose.

Re: Using husband's and his elderly mother's bank card

No. I wouldnt worry about it. Legally your husband has authority to do the loan and your are not doing anything illegal or dishonest.