Legal Question in Civil Litigation in California

Re: Advisable to meet with the person being sued?

I don't know enough about the facts and circumstances of this matter to make an informed judgment. It's generally best not to meet, however. If he wants to offer a settlement proposal, ask him to put it in writing.

Re: Advisable to meet with the person being sued?

An attorney is not supposed to contact an adverse party who is represented by counsel. (There are a couple of exceptions to this rule of legal ethics).

However, there is no law, nor any ethical problem, preventing a defendant from contacting and talking to a plaintiff, or a plaintiff contacting and talking to a defendant.

Sometimes direct contact between adverse parties to a lawsuit results in a compromise and settlement.

On the other hand, many attorneys disfavor such contacts, and for good reason; there can be leakage of attorney-client confidences, undue pressure and coercion, harassment, undermining of the attorney's overall strategy, and other mischief.

Oftentimes, especially in the emotionally-charged atmosphere between ex-lovers, it is better to wait for professionally-facilitated mediation under court sponsorship. Cases and parties differ widely, so there is no one-size-fits-all rule.

The possibility of "getting evidence" is always present, as you suggest. Keep in mind, however, that evidence is supposed to be exchanged between the parties during the process of discovery; if one of the parties knows or suspects a certain fact is true or a certain document exists, that party can demand that the other admit or deny the fact, produce a copy of the document, etc.