Legal Question in Elder Law in Florida

I am so sorry your family is in this situation. It certainly seems like the time has come to place mother in a facility. This should not compromise the guardianship status. The court needs to be informed that she has been placed. "'Plenary guardian� means a person who has been appointed by the court to exercise all delegable legal rights and powers of the ward after the court has found that the ward lacks the capacity to perform all of the tasks necessary to care for his or her person or property.". Fla. Statutes 744.102(9)(b). Even after placement, someone still needs to be in charge.

This unfortunately leaves the question more in a domestic setting. One of the worst positions to be in is to feel as if you are having to choose between your spouse and a parent. In this case, since your wife has had to assume responsibility, it is more like the choice between spouse and a child, since your mother-in-law's condition has reached the point of helplessness. Many people feel an inherent, and forceful, need to provide care for the parent at home from love and a sense of responsibility to the person who cared for them. Just like a parent that society dictates should be perfect in every way, fulfilling every conceivable need, while working full time, so society dictates we should be caring for our parents who are so ill with similar ease. So everywhere you turn, the catchphrase "aging in place" becomes a mantra, and the concept of placement seems akin to dropping off a beloved pet to the pound. Of course, nothing is further from the truth, and if your mother in law's condition merited immediate placement due to a severe stroke or other physically incapacitating ailment, then the placement becomes easier, more like a "hospital", more palatable. The fact that your mother in law is mentally, and not physically disabled is the dividing line between acceptable and not acceptable placement.

That being said, of course it is your house, too. I would suggest that this matter needs to be treated as any other domestic dispute, as thats really the issue. I would suggest counseling. It also sounds like you might, and a counselor would likely, suggest some in home care to give both of you a break. Medicare part A does provide 5 days of respite care in a facility per year, but thats something that might set up a fight in and of itself, so its up to you to determine the appropriate time to bring that up. Its widely used to provide home caregivers a break, so

i hope she takes advantage of it.

The next to last resort would be informing the court that the home is no longer appropriate for her care. Sounds like you would need your own lawyer for that, but I suspect it may set you up for the last resort.

The last resort, of course, is to seek a solution in a domestic court, through either an ejection or a divorce or separation. I sincerely hope it works out without that. Best of luck to you all, its a terrible situation.

Not sure why an Alabama lawyer is answering your question. I could be wrong and apologize if I am, but I understood this to be a Florida question. At any rate, it does make a difference as to statutes for which state you need to answer. Bottom line that I can see is that you and your spouse have come to an impasse. I suggest you both take a day away from the situation and really talk things out. If not with her, with someone else (ie a counselor). If this is not feasible, then I suggest you file for Divorce. I can not give a substantive answer as I do not know all the facts, i.e. your ages, are you still working, are there any caregivers coming in, what about other children of the mother in law, has the wife had counselling. Your wife may need to see a physician as I am sure she is suffering from depression and probably could use some medication to help her.

Just to clarify, I practice in Florida as well.