Legal Question in Family Law in Illinois

My ex-spouse and I have joint custody. He wants to go to mediation for no good reason. We just fight over minor things and he wants to get his way. What will happen if I don't agree to go to mediation? I haven't violated any visitation. He just wants to go to discuss and clarify things that I don't agree on. He doesn't realize that the mediator won't tell us what the law is. I don't want to waste money going when we won't agree. He constantly harasses and bully's me until he gets his way. Mediation will not help.

On our JPA, it states that holidays supcede any normal parenting schedule. My ex-husband wouldn't bring our child home from his weekend visit until Sunday morning on my holiday. Is he violating orders by keeping her until Sunday am when I'm the custodial parent? There are no times on the papers, just that Sunday was my holiday. He doesn't want to give up his weekend sleepover, when I've given him plenty of extra time and have been flexible with him. He is super selfish and feels like I owe him.

Also, he won't agree on religion with me when he is suppose too. He wants to force the Catholic religion on our Daughter and I don't agree. He continues to take her to RE on his weekends.


Asked on 5/24/14, 5:05 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Sue Roberts-Kurpis, Esq. Law Office of Sue Roberts-Kurpis

All I can do is give you an opinion based on what you have written: 1) Sunday AM usually around 9 or 10am is reasonable on his visitation weekends but your Holiday. Consider when you give the children to him on your weekends and its his Holiday. Do you turn them over on Saturday evening or Sunday morning? The two of you need to agree on a time frame for turning over the child(ren) and be consistent. Since you are the primary residential parent you should be more generous with the time he has. When no specific time is mentioned the court will infer reasonableness. 2) When the two of you agreed to joint custody, you told the court that religion was one of the areas that you could agree upon. Your ex has the right to do what he wants with your daughter during his visitaiton time. If he wants to take her to RE then he can do that. You do not get to control what he does during his time. Religious education will not harm your daughter and is important to your ex-husband. When your daughter gets older, she can decide at that time what she wants to do. You need to take a step back, relax and let your ex have a relationship with his daughter.

You describe your ex as "super selfish", and say that he "wants to force the Catholic religion" on your daughter. From where I sit, I think those same things could be said about you.

Best advice, let him have his way. The court will likely give it to him after you spend lots of money and waste a lot of time. His requests are not unreasonable, are not harmful, and peace between you and your ex is in your daughter's best interests.

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Answered on 5/24/14, 6:08 pm


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