Re: VIctimized as a sex harrasser

This is a tough situation. First off, your husband needs to be completely honest with himself. If there is anything he can think of that might be considered sexist or harassing, he needs to cut it out immediately and permanently, even if that means seeking counseling.

I say this not to offend - just to give thorough advice.

Second, this is not sexaul harassment against him. (unless it gets to the point where adverse action is taken against him or his work environment is intolerable. Then, perhaps a case could be made.) But if the accusations are being made in bad faith, it is probably defamation. Other claims could probably be made as well, but litigation is not the way to approach this.

If he is convinced he is being falsely accused (and three different complaints tends to indicate that something is going on), he needs to get to the bottom of it. That means he needs to have access to the complaints that have been made against him, if possible. He is not automatically entitled to this information, but he can certainly ask the employer for whatever info they are willing to share. Once he knows the exact nature of the complaints and the results of the company's investigation (are there witnesses, did the women talk about the incidents with others, have written statements been made, etc.), perhaps he can better assess what, if anything, to do.

If no action is planned against him, then perhaps there is nothing he need do. But it might make sense for him to have a heart-to-heart with a supervisor, HR, or someone else who can not only counsel your husband on the situation but respond to questions about whether these accusations have affected him at all.

If he does speak with anyone, he needs to stay on the high road at all times. He should not accuse the women of defaming him or lying or anything else. If he has not done so yet, he should simply state his side in diplomatic and civil terms, make it clear that he is being falsely accused but wants to handle the situation fairly and make sure no further problems arise, and is seeking advice on how to do so.

Of course, he should avoid the women if possible, as much as possible. At least, never ever be alone with any of them again.

Without knowing more details, there is not much more I can offer in this type of forum on such a complicated matter. If your husband wants to call to discuss the facts in detail, please let him know he can call me for a free consultation.

Good luck to you both.

Jeff Sheldon

Jeffrey L. Sheldon, Esquire

The Sheldon Law Firm

6932 Mayfair Road

Laurel, MD 20707

301.604.2497

fax: 301.776.3954

jls@sheldonlawfirm.com

http://www.SheldonLawFirm.com

Disclaimer: This posting does not and is not intended to constitute legal advice. It is not confidential, nor is it privileged, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please consult with an attorney for advice specific to the facts of your case.

Re: VIctimized as a sex harrasser

If your husband is creepy, then something is definitely wrong.

Either these women are ganging up on him, or ...well...he's creepy and needs to look further into his own behavior.

But, sight unseen, I wouldn't assume that something is wrong with him, --looking at breasts is certainly not sexual harassment. Everyone has them, and if that were the case, you'd have every straight man on the planet out of a job. Looking is one thing, oggling is entirely different and if he's oggling, maybe he should learn the 1/2 second appreciative glance instead. I've seen it taught on at least one HBO show last year. Married women know it, working men need to learn it.

Since you've already got a heads-up about their claim, you can take that power way from them. Confront the issue (not the women), head on with a higher level employee, ideally the EEO or workplace diversity officer. Explain the problem and try to offer constructive alternatives to deal with the problem.

Do not go in there attacking the women or calling them liars, --they have the right to feel creeped out if they really feel that way, but when it intereferes with their job, the COMPANY needs to address it responsibly. It doesn't matter whether they're making it up or not, the fact is, they've accused him of something he may or may not have done, and it's HIS job that would be negtively influenced. A proactive approach is a good strategy for men who know an accusation is coming and truly don't know whether they've done something to deserve it.

Re: VIctimized as a sex harrasser

Unfortunately there is no protection under sexual harrassment law for your husband.

He, however, may have a case of defamation or of misuse of process (where there are formal charges and other factors

can be shown such as they intended to have him held in place to their advantage).

This is not the type of thing that lends well to litigation. Addressing it internally may be a better route. You may or may

not want the assistance of an attorney if and when you should decide to take this approach.

Unless criminal charges are issued or civil damages claimed, your husband does not have the right to compel information. He should try to

find out as much as he can without being antagonistic. A cooperative and non-combative approach is the better choice.

One key thing that he should try is to acquire information about is whether these three women are in collusion with each other. He should sit back and think

whether the three, whether individually or collectively, have something to gain by placing your husband in an unfair light.

As a side comment I would like to say that it is sexual harrassment for a man to "look" at a woman's anatomy (meaning more than a casual glance).

However the drafters of this law did not incorporate balance by also including within the definition of harrassment a situation where a woman

wears inappropriate clothing or otherwise attracts sexual attention. (And even if she did it would not make it okay for a man to sexually harrass her, rather she would be responsible for her inappropriate actions through an action being brought against her.) It would only seem fair that if you are asking a man to not "look" then women should be

expected to dress appropriate to the workplace. The bottom line is sexual harrassment is unwanted sexual attention and I, as a married man, feel that it is unwanted sexual attention when a woman dresses provocatively and inappropriately.