My boyfriend and I have recently split up. He stayed at the apartment in central NJ and told me I should move back home to central PA to be with my family. We have an 8 1/2 month old daughter who stays with me. We have agreed to do everything outside of a courtroom and in between ourselves. We have agreed to do his visits every other weekend when he has visits with his son. Right now we meet halfway which is about a 2 hour drive for both of us to the meeting point then 2 hours back to our places. Him being the non custodial parent, Is it his responsibility to do all the traveling? I have to give up 2 weekends a month that I could work so that we can do the visits and he doesn't work at all during weekends. Is it normal for the non custodial to do all the transportation with a long distance scenario or is it commonly shared?
1 Answer from Attorneys
No, he does not do all the traveling because he is the non-custodial parent. When parties live a geographic distance from each other travel costs have to be factored in. What you are doing now is reasonable in that you are each driving half-way. Other options could be that you alternate driving. Or maybe you could ask a friend or family member to take your child on one or both weekends. Or maybe on one weekend, since your child is small, he can travel the whole distance and spend the weekend in your town in PA and one weekend per month you could travel the whole way and spend the weekend in his town in NJ.
While the child is small now, this visitation arrangement may have to be revisited as the child ages, starts school and starts to become active in things.
However, you decided to have a child with this man and its important that the father has as much contact with the child as he wants so she will grow up happy and loved. Maybe as the child gets older or is in school, he can have longer visits with the child (say during school breaks or long holidays) and see her less often during the school year but maintain contact with her via the telephone or computer.
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