Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Obtaining Full Custody of a 1 year old child

I need advice, my husband and I recently decided to get separated, he moved out and I got the seperation papers made up, we agreed on them, and I paid $550 to get them drafted, now he wont sign and he says he wants full custody of our child. I was very fair in the papers, waived alamony, and asked for only $400 a month for the baby. We own a house together and we've only been married 1 1/2 years. When I was 9 months pregnant with him (the day before my actual due date) My husband slept with a prostitute, he put it on a credit card and I found out. I still have the receipt plus 3 months of cell phone bills calling various escort services. I wasn't going to use it but now he is fighting me. I would like to know the first step in my battle, I work 7 days a week and I've always been very responsible with our son while his father was out many a night until 6am. He never called or checked in or anything. Mike also has a history of going to phyciatrists for Anxiety, etc. and he is living with his parents and his alcoholic father, please advise with your position on this, do you think I can win full custody?

Thank you,


Asked on 7/19/01, 1:49 pm

2 Answers from Attorneys

Glenn R. Tankersley Regency Legal Clinic

Re: Obtaining Full Custody of a 1 year old child

The issues in your case are too complicated for a quick, snappy answer. Obviously, you need to speak with an attorney ASAP. Find one who does a lot of family law work in Juvenile & Domestic Relations Court as well as contested divorce work in Circuit Court.

Generally, it is considerably less expensive for both parties to litigate the custody question in Juvenile Court than in Circuit Court. However, the adultery issue may give you an advantage in Circuit Court that you might not have in Juvenile Court.

Also, as a general proposition, all courts are reluctant to disturb the status quo; so, if you already have physical custody de facto, you probably will keep it in most cases. Additionally, most courts favor moms over dads, absent other, unusual factors, in awarding custody of VERY small children. Neither of these "preferences" is cast in stone, however, and each case is like each snowflake, a little different from every other one.

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Answered on 7/20/01, 10:02 am
Lisa Lane McDevitt McDevitt Law Office

Re: Obtaining Full Custody of a 1 year old child

Your husband is a BUM and you have evidence to prove it. While I can NEVER GUARANTEE an outcome in a case, the chances of him getting custody over you is slim. Have you been the primary caretaker while he's galavanting all over town with prostitutes? If so, I would like to throw out my law degree if he wins custody over you, unless he can show neglect or abuse on your part.

This is what you need to do, and you can do it with or without an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney contact the local Bar Association office to get a referral for a pro bono office (they represent clients for free) or if you live in Northern VA contact the Legal Services of Northern Virginia. Hopefully you will qualify for their free services, otherwise your options are to either hire an attorney or do it yourself. I don't recommend doing it yourself, but if you absolutely can't afford an attorney, here is a little advice.

Go to the county Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court (J&DR) and ask the clerk for a "petition for custody and child support". Fill the form out. Then ask the court to show you the forms to file for a "pendente lite" hearing. This is a hearing "pending the litigation" that grants you a temporary order for child support and custody while you are awaiting a full and permanent trial. Your pendente lite hearing can be set on a date within a week, so pick a date that is convenient to you. Go to the hearing with your paystubs evidencing your income and also a list with all of household expenses.

Did you own/rent a home together? If so, ask the court in your petition for pendente lite relief for a "use and possession of the family home and for contribution from your husband to contribute to all or some of the mortagage/rent".

These actions are just for immediate relief. Call me for advice on how you would file for divorce based on adultery since he's hired prostitutes! You could file right away for divorce based on adultery.

Call me and I will help you out as much as I can. My VA number is 703-968-3974. Good luck and be glad you're getting rid of this bum.

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Answered on 7/20/01, 6:41 pm


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