Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Seperation and children

I am currently seperated from my husband of 14 years because he had an affair with a friend of mine for 2.5 years. My situation is a little unusual because while they were having an affair, I was pregnant with our 2nd child. The baby is terminally ill and every day is a gift with her. I wonder if I go for a seperation, do I have to allow for him to take the baby overnight since I have never been away from her and could not handle it if something happened to her when I was not with her. He continues to come over to the house every night for dinner and stays until the girls are in bed. He also comes over every weekend and says that there is nothing I can do because he is their dad. What are my rights and what can I legally do. He has all the money and is paying all the bills so he would see if I used some to go see a lawyer. He says he is no longer seeing her, but she has also moved out and left her husband and children. Please help me anyway you can.

Blessings,

Pam


Asked on 5/08/08, 10:36 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

Ruth Emily Kochard Ruth Emily Kochard, Counselor at Law

Re: Seperation and children

I'm not sure what you mean by going for a separation, since you also say that you already are separated. However, with respect to his rights concerning your child, it would be possible for him to seek a temporary order regarding custody and visitation prior to any divorce. The court ultimately will render a custody order that is in the best interest of the child. With respect to visitation (e.g. if you have primary or physical custody) he could seek to have the child overnight; whether such visitation would be awarded depends again on what is in the best interest of the child. Note that courts typically permit visitation unless restrictions are necessary in that it would be harmful to the child. Although it may be painful for you, the impact on you of having your child visit with your husband would not be deemed a reason to restrict his access. Rather you would need to demonstrate that such visitation would be harmful for your child.

With respect to his control of your money, and the ability to see an attorney, if you have the ability to write a check or pay with a credit card you may consult an attorney; although your husband will find out, and may not be pleased, does not effect the fact that you are entitled to protect your rights in this situation.

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Answered on 5/08/08, 11:15 am


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