Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Visitation one non-custodial parent leaves the state

My husband was given physical custody of his three kids last Dec thru mediation, with joint legal custody shared with their mother, she decided to give them to us after a year of fighting. Since the change the kids mother has moved 1500 miles away and has little contact with the kids. She bought airline tickets for them without any discussion for X-Mas of which my husband refused because she had them stopping in Dallas for 2 hrs on Christmas Eve and she refused to change them to direct flights. The kids are all under 16 and we are concerned for their safety and well being. Now he has emailed her ahead of time trying to get an idea of the time frame she is expecting for Easter break and summer but she is refusing to communicate at all. There is not a court order for visitation since she moved, and we are attempting to make plans that include the kids visiting her but what do we do if she refuses to communicate ? It is not fair for the kids not to see her at all but we do not feel it is our responsibility to go out of our way to make sure they see her because she made the choice to move and is making no effort to communicate with us at all. Should we file papers requesting that visitation be on agreed upon times ?


Asked on 11/15/06, 8:53 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Fred Kaufman Fredrick S. Kaufman, Esquire

Re: Visitation one non-custodial parent leaves the state

My position is that it's the custodial parent's responsibility to make sure the children are safe. I would propose a plan to her and send it by a way guaranteed to get to her. If she chooses to ignore them or won't agree to the terms, she forfeits the visitation. The best interests of the children are served by keeping control of their safety. You cannot force someone to visit their children if they choose not to. She will file something if she doesn't get her way and the best thing for you to do for now is to document your attempts to include her and her refusal to cooperate. This is not your mess to fix. She moved half a continent away from them. The children will suffer of course but a responsible parent has to make the best decisions even if children aren't happy with it.

Good luck.

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Answered on 11/15/06, 10:53 pm


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