Legal Question in Mediation in Arizona

Just to give you a little background, we have been together for the last 10 years this July & we have 2 children together, the ages of 5 & 7. There was a time where we separated on & off for about a year and � total, where my husband got another lady pregnant. Before she had the baby, we decided it was best for us to make our marriage work. This was almost 3 � years ago now, and during those years, we have gone through nothing but continuous phone calls during all hours of the day/night, restraining orders against her as well as her placing one against my husband, and a DNA test, proving the child was my husbands. During those years, my husband was allowed to see his son, yet his brothers, my children, as well as myself, have been deprived of seeing him but twice in his 3 years of age. She has continued to keep in contact with nearly everyone on my husband�s side of the family, but me and his grandparents. I have done nothing but support my husband to try to be a part of this child�s life, whether she refuses to let our children & I be a part of it. As soon as I the DNA test that I paid for came back, I immediately placed him under my insurance, not his fathers, mine, and I still pay for his insurance to this day. How many women do you know who would literally continue to pay for a child�s insurance, knowing they�ll never be a part of that child�s life? I am a mother & regardless of our situation, he still needs insurance, it would be wrong for me not to. My husband & I have made several trips to Phoenix, which is where she currently lives, and we have tried numerous times to see the boy, yet she refused to let me be a part of it, stopping a child�s father from seeing his son because of me. I got to the point where I had to tell my husband to just go up to Phoenix alone, to go see his child, be a part of him regardless of her hate toward me, and his reply was that if she wasn�t going to accept his family as a whole, it wasn�t time yet, that someday he�ll be able to explain to his son why we weren�t there. I respected my husband�s decision, but eventually got to the point where enough was enough, I had to put the past behind us. After writing her a few times, she finally wrote me back, and we had quite the chat about their son and my husband, in a good way. She even went to the measure of calling my phone to see if I received pictures that she had sent to us. Gradually, I added her on my facebook, and in the last month or so, we have finally gotten along well again. I would comment on her status & pictures, & she would on mine. Things were going great until again, I wrote her that we would be going to Phoenix for some baseballs games that we always go to. I thought since we were getting along so well, she might actually let us see him, especially after all this time. I even tried calling her, but she never returned my calls or emails until it was too late, after the 2nd time of us going up there, she finally wrote me, just saying Anthony was sick. I wrote her again telling her it was ok, and that I wanted to surprise my husband by going to Phoenix again just to see Anthony, and if it would be ok, since I�d be contacting his boss to give him the day off. Her reply was, she'll call my husband and talk with him about it�. Why not me? I�m the one trying to make an effort to be a part of this childss life, yet she refuses to work with me. Not only that, come to find out, she has been sending nude pictures to my husband of all 3 of her private areas in the last month and �, a few which included a dildo, all during the same time period she was acting as though she was truly trying to make things work with me & her. Out of 23 pictures, there was only 3 of their child, the rest were of her and her privates, the last ones being 5/13/10. I have access to my husbands phone records, and he has never replied to any of the pictures, just deletes them, and he hasn't even called her at all this year, since she has caused so much problems between the 2 of us. After 3 � years of my husband & I making our marriage work with our 2 children, after 3 � years of me supporting my husband as well as her and the situation we�ve gotten ourselves into, yet this is tearing our family apart. She knew she was getting with a married man when they 1st started dating, since she actually worked with me and was a friend of mine. How can you blame anyone for trying to make their marriage work, especially when there are children involved? I feel very sorry the way things turned out, but out of our situation, I am only trying to bring us all together. I have no idea why anyone, regardless if you�ve had a child together or not, would try to come between a marriage, especially after 3 1/2years. I have put too many years into my marriage to let this bring us apart, but it's getting to the point where I can't handle her trying to purposly ruin my marriage. My husband is the kind of guy that doesn't like confrontation, but I�m asking for any answers from anyone who is willing to help me��.. I know alienation of affecton isn't legal in Arizona, but is there any legal action I can take other than a restraining order?


Asked on 5/19/10, 2:17 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Donald Scher Donald T. Scher & Associates, P.C.

I suggest that you retain legal counsel and seek modification of the order of visitation/parenting plan, giving your husband the right to visit with his son on a defined schedule, outside of her house and control. You could also ask the court for protective orders to enforce the court's order for visitation.

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Answered on 5/24/10, 2:30 pm


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