Legal Question in Family Law in California

No more custody or visitaion

My ex & I both agree that I would no longer like to be a part of our childrens lives. We have 4 & 8 yr old.I havent seen them in a long time. We live in diffrent parts of the state. Our current order is I have them everyother weekend. We must attend 12 coparent counceling sessions.(we havent been to any sessions)We would like to change the order so my ex has them all the time & responsable for them. I dont see them much.(every 9 months or so) What do we need to do to change the order.What forms & can we do it w/out going back to court since we live so fair apart? I cant afford a lawyer but my ex has one.I dont trust my ex to do it w/out me know the steps that need to be taken also. My ex is dirty and has been known to pull fast ones in the past. What do I need to do to protect myself? I would like the order to give my ex custody and responsability. The situauion we have right now has become emotionaly damaging to the children. This is volintary on both parts. I agree that I should not be involved with them and would like no more contact or fighting between my ex and I. What do I need to do to protect myself from my ex. What papers need to be filled out and how do I do it out of court and so fair away? Thank yo for your advice.


Asked on 3/30/05, 11:25 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

Lyle Johnson Bedi and Johnson Attorneys at Law

Re: No more custody or visitaion

You can prepare an agreement with the provisions which you recited. This is a stipulation. Both parties sign the stipulation, and your signature is notarized, as you do not have an attorney.

However, you should be aware that a parent cannot waive the children's right to child support from the other parent. As a general rule such an agreement would not be enforceable. Any waiver of your visitation coupled with non payment of child support would be harmful to you and the children. Any request for visitation or custody that you might make in the future would have little chance for success. Also she may well tell the children that you gave them up for money, sold them. A better approach might be to reduce your child support to allow you to use the money to pay the costs for visitation. Then request that visitation be set for school vacations, holidays and other days when then have at least days out of school. Also if practical you should arrange for the children to travel by airplane back and forth for the visits. You could also request that each parent have high speed internet service, and an internet video camera. This would allow you and the children to communicate, and see each other during the contact. Enen though you cannot attend co-parenting classes with mother, you should attend parenting classes for children the same age as your children. This will allow you to learn methods for dealing with the problems that arise in your situation. Also make sure that the children know that it is not their fault that the marriage failed and that you are not seeing them more often.

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Answered on 4/14/05, 1:46 pm


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