Legal Question in Family Law in California

ultimatum by estranged husband???I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years.

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years. Previously on this site I was advised to hire an attorney rather than the paralegal that's handling our divorce. I told my estranged husband that I felt I should at least consult an attorney. He became quite angry. He sent me an email that is quite disturbing and intimidating, and I don't know what to do. He's given me 3 options: 1. Do it with the paralegal and get it done now. 2. Attorneys must be paid from sale of the house & could drag out for years. He calls this NOT a very viable option. 3. Before he lets this drag out for years, he will walk away from the situation. He will quit his job, move in with his 'other woman' out of state whom he says can support both of them quite comfortably. In so many words, he will purposely have no income so that I cannot collect alimony. I know this man and his temper well enough to believe what he says. My kids (H.S. & college age) and I will need his spousal support just to make ends meet. I know I need an attorney, but I'm afraid of the consequences. Can he get away with this? What are the odds of making him pay for my attorney? I have no income. How might a judge view his email? Thanks for your help.


Asked on 4/25/05, 11:49 am

3 Answers from Attorneys

Lyle Johnson Bedi and Johnson Attorneys at Law

Re: ultimatum by estranged husband???I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 ye

You should not make a decision as to how to proceed based on his threatening email. A lien on the home to secure the payment of attorney fees is very possible. However, the court can order his to pay attorney fees during the course of the proceedings.

If he quits him job to avoid to the payment of child support the court can and probably will order him to pay support based on his ability to earn. Also it would be a federal crime go to another state and not pay child support. Spousal support could be set on his ability to earn. The court could also order a substantial portion of his share of the community property held as security for the payment of future support. Do not allow him to intimidate you into making a poor decision. Consult with an attorney.

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Answered on 4/26/05, 2:55 pm
Damian Nolan Law Offices of Damian M. Nolan

Re: ultimatum by estranged husband???I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 ye

The most famous, or rather, infamous, act of appeasement resulted in World War One.

I mention the above only because it appears to be the case that your spouse is threatening you and you feel you need to succumb to his threats.

When you were told initially to contact an attorney, that was excellent advice. You now need to heed the advice and stop listening to your husband. Do you even remotely think that anything your husband says to you will be to your benefit? The question, of course, is rhetorical.

There are laws in place to protect you from this type of bully but you will need an attorney to help you. You shouldn't delay.

Regards,

Damian Nolan

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Answered on 4/27/05, 7:55 pm
PATRICK MCCRARY PATRICK MCCRARY

Re: ultimatum by estranged husband???I've been a stay-at-home mom for over 20 ye

The previous advice you received concerning consulting an attorney was good advice. If after talking to the attorney you do not wish to retain him, you have no obligation. However, getting that advice is essential. Good Luck, Pat McCrary

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Answered on 4/25/05, 4:23 pm


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