Legal Question in Civil Litigation in California

I flirted harmlessly with an ex-boyfriend on Facebook (suggestive, crude, flirty - nothing but words). His wife freaked out, deleted his FB account, and sent me several threatening emails with warnings to stay away or else. So I did. I've ignored her husband and have ignored her messages but she keeps sending them. I haven't responded to ANY of her messages and I'm wondering if that is why she keeps emailing me...? She just sent another one yesterday stating she knows who I am, where I work, where I live, and threatened to contact my employer, family members, etc. I'm seriously considering filing a harrassment suit/restraining order. Is this a reasonable thing for me to do? Should I TELL her I am considering this? Or - should I just continue to ignore?


Asked on 1/20/10, 10:34 am

2 Answers from Attorneys

Carl Starrett Law Offices of Carl H. Starrett II

Send her an email stating that you are sorry for flirting with her husband and that you don't wish to be contacted by her again. Tell her that you feel threatened by her unwanted communications that you will filing for a harassment restraining order if she contacts you again or follows through with any of her threats. Block her on Facebook and report her for the unwanted contact. If you hear from hear again, take her to court. Keep copies of all messages she has sent you.

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Answered on 1/25/10, 11:16 am

That's a tough call. It's not really a legal problem. You probably have a right to a civil harassment order, but sometimes that's just gasoline on a fire. It's never an easy thing to figure out if ignoring the person will eventually make them go away (probably the best thing in a plurality of cases), sending them a mature apology, promise to never contact them again, and contrite request to be left alone will do the trick (sometimes works with people who get worked up over being ignored until they get some form of vindication), or if legal action is necessary because the person has really just "lost it." The one thing I would not do at this stage is threaten legal action. Just do it or not. The only time I would threaten legal action would be if the contrite apology and request that the matter be put in the past is disregarded. Sometimes a follow-up, "look, I've tried to be adult, I'm sorry for what I did, this needs to drop or I'll have to go to court" message is effective at that point.

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Answered on 1/25/10, 11:19 am


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