Legal Question in Education Law in Illinois

I am a teacher and have a former student who is considered homeless. I am a single father of 2 sons...only one lives at home, but for the last 4 years I have considered this girl my daughter. She has no stable home and wants to move in with me and my son,who is a sophomore and like a brother to her, while she attends college . The problem is some people think this would look inappropriate. Remember she is 18, and no longer a high school student. We have a father/daughter relationship and we have her mother's blessing...her dad isn't around much. I know members of the community/school board may have issues with this due to my marital status. I can handle the snide comments, I just want to protect her and my job...after all she's my "daughter" and dads protect their kids.


Asked on 6/08/10, 7:58 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

First, does she know of your interest in helping her this way? If not there could very well be consequences to her and you need to broach the subject with her first. On the legal side I don't wand to give you bum information for something so personal so you may want to connect with a school lawyer who may know of a similar situation in or around the area and appellate district -- you're in a relatively rural area based on zip code so you may wind up with a generalist who is local as opposed to an attorney concentrating in school law who is from out of town. You want someone who is local and knows people, is respected, and hopefully knows you too, maybe even an attorney who has done family law or adoptions. Other than that, as somewhat "non-legal" advice, the court of public opinion can be unforgiving -- especially when you're asking for forgiveness after the fact. What you're afraid of, rightfully so, is asking for permission, or at least going "public" for something that may "appear" questionable in a small(er) town where people know each other's business more, especially someone like yourself - a school teacher - who is likely known by many. Even though the young lady is of legal age for most things, having her mom's support could be helpful, if she is not embarrassed by the situation and is willing to go "public" too; but that could be asking a lot. Your neighbors may know of the relationship in general; you may want to casually ask "what would you do...." to see if you can get a sense of the reaction.. If you are part of the NEA you might want to start gaining support from your union rep who also may be familiar with the situation, and move on to gain broader support -- with the principal, your superintendent and maybe even the school board in closed session. Your reputation in the community and the community's awareness of the existing ongoing relationship may be a help. But you have to be prepared for anything along the way, including the worst. There is no guaranty of anything. You need to consider the housing arrangement, # of bedrooms, everything. As to a foster arrangement she's aged out of the system and adoption could put you all at an economic disadvantage. In a more urban area having what is called a "summer girl" or "au pair" (live-in single or couple who is old enough to drive and take care of younger children....) is more accepted, understood and even arranged through agencies. It may help for her to be linked up through one of the agencies that may be nearby your area -- this may add to overall "public" credibility. If you start to get pushback, you have to decide what's important (including your own kids) and whether there is another way of helping her out. Since we're already heading into summer, much of the groundwork has yet to be laid and it may not be the best time -- or could be perfect, as it sounds like for the next few years the amount of time she would be spending at your place would be limited to her school breaks.....Assuming your heart is in the right place, best of luck to you.

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Answered on 6/09/10, 8:49 am


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