Legal Question in Family Law in Iowa

Two years ago, I left my husband. I couldn't handle other women being his priority, doing everything under the sun to keep him happy and getting nothing in return, as well as being told every day how my job wasn't real work and that when he got home beings his was "real work", I was being left responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, taking care of the two kids, getting them in to bed, etc, all after getting home from work at 6 o'clock at night. I became very depressed, gained weight, lost self confidence, and got sick of it and moved out. At first, I took all the kids stuff, what I could of mine, the two kids, and left. From there on, he has been CONTROLLING my life and my life with my kids. Just this last year, I got pushed out of their birthdays, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, every important family holiday. Also, for the last two years, he has made it impossible for me to have anything but my two days off a week with my children. If I left my kids with someone to watch them while I was at work, he'd be there to pick them up. He had strict rules as to none of my friends would watch the kids and he DID NOT want them in daycare, as his mother watches the kids while he is at work. My mistake was letting him do this as we have no court order on visitation. Well in January, I lost my job. He still insisted that just because I lost my job, doesn't entitle me to more time with my kids, which wasn't fair considering how much time he has kept me from them. So I fought and fought and got him to agree to a written agreement that I got him to sign. The agreement is from Wednesday to Wednesday. I get them Wednesday to the following Wednesday, then he gets them Wednesday to the following Wednesday.

The issue arises here. I was stupid in love with this guy, dropped out of high school, got pregnant, miscarried, got married, then had a baby. ALL WAY TO YOUNG. Which I think is part of the reason things did not work out. Well now I have the opportunity to move closer to my family. I currently live in Adel, the father lives in Beaverdale, and my family lives in Oakland, Iowa out by Council Bluffs. I currently have no family support up here as they live an hour and half away. With this opportunity, I have the chance to financially get back on my feet. My dad has rental property as he is willing to allow myself and the children to move into on of the single family homes. This for one, would give my children, a quiet little town to reside in, a big back yard to play in, my son would be starting a very small public school this fall. As well as I plan to get my GED and go back to school so I can further provide for myself and my children. I'd also get the much need family support. But with our current agreement, if I move back there, it'd be the end of March when I would do so. The school there has open enrollment for kindergarten on March 9th. Should I enroll him in this school? Should I make this move, beings once school starts, our written agreement would be interrupted as this school is an hour and half away? Will the courts see this as a bad move for my kids? I'm just worried, because without the education, and the family support, and this move, I continue to stay on food stamps, energy assistance, and living pay check to pay check, provided I can even find a job that employs a high school failure, and pays enough to keep the apartment I live in. I need help, I don't have much money, and everyone wants a $2,500 retainer. I can not continue to be controlled by him! I CAN NOT miss anymore of my children's life because him and his mother likes to play games! This is not fair to me, but most importantly, they have no concern to what is it doing to my children. I recently had my five year old son come up to me and ask why I broke his home (in reference to the house we lived at prior to this separation). I asked him why he thought that. He said "I don't, my daddy told me you broke our home and it's your fault." It KILLS me that this is how low his father and grandmother have sunk, but it kills me a hell of a lot more, to know that they are playing these CHILDISH games with an innocent little 5 year old, that has enough to deal with, let alone putting him in the middle, and convincing him, that his mother is a bad person. I'M DESPERATE NAN! I NEED HELP!

Any help and advice would be FAR GREATLY APPRECIATED!

I've had enough rejection from unemployment, rejection from job interviews, rejection from previous consulted lawyers. I just need the one blessing of someone who can help me HELP DEFEND MY CHILDREN!

Again, I appreciate anything you can help me with. And if you can't, I completely understand, and greatly appreciate the time you have taken to read this.

Asked on 2/25/12, 2:03 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Robert Luedeman solo practitioner

I'm not going to attempt to sort through this. If you have a legal question feel free to ask.

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Answered on 2/25/12, 8:52 pm

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