My ex-husband and I have a parenting agreement that was set in place at the time or our divorce. I have sole physical custody of the children and we share joint legal custody. It is worded that he see the children Wednesday evening through Friday evening and then Friday evening through Sunday evening alternating weeks for a total of 104 nights a year. He has never followed this agreement, in 2015 right after the divorce was finalized he disappeared from the children's lives for 6 months. After that it was always random times or days and he has maybe seen them 20 overnights total spread out over the 4 years. He recently got married and now wants to start taking the kids every other weekend. The children aged 7 and 10 do not feel comfortable staying with him for that long as they have barely seen him in the past. This past weekend they wanted to try it so I agreed. There was no set time on Sunday the children were suppose to be home. After receiving a text message from our 10 year old asking to come home at lunch time I contacted him to say I would pick up the children after lunch. This was a large argument with him wanting to keep them until 7pm. He finally compromised on 5pm because the children had homework to finish and school in the morning. Upon picking up the children his new wife verbally attacked me (screaming profanities and name calling). She also entered my personal space and threatened physical violence on me for "not letting him see his children". I repeatedly asked her to stop and to not do this in front of the kids. She continued which made my children extremely scared and concerned. All the mean time their father stood by and watched make no attempt to stop or calm his wife during he outburst. My main concern was for my children and getting them out of the situation as quickly as possible so the police were not called. The children repeatedly said on the way home that they do not want to go back there because "Megan is scary" and "that was so wrong".
My question is since he has not followed our parenting plan at any point in the past must I follow it now because I never requested a change in the past? Am I forced to send my kids for visitation whenever he feels he would like to see them whether it lines up with our original parenting agreement? I know the children's opinions do not matter much until they reach a certain age but they are rightfully fearful of this woman, are their exceptions? Also can I file a domestic personal protection order against his wife after this incident because we share children now that she is the "step-mother"?
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