My son spanked his boys, bare butt with his hand as a punishment for lying, stealing snacks and fighting each other...not sure this was a good idea, he is in a custody battle.
1 Answer from Attorneys
Hello. IMO it sounds as tho' both you and 'son' would benefit if you: Stop, Get quiet within yourself, Think, Listen to God.
Violence to our children does NOT have them learn peace.
I bet a zillion dollars that 'son' lies and steals in some dimensions of his own life, you, too. (You've already made clear there is abundant violence.)
'Son', and YOU, can both change fyi !! People can do complete 180's with their moral lives !! I have witnessed this with my own eyes many, many times. Miracles happen right in front of our noses if we pay attention fyi.
Please, both you and 'son' get copies of GROWING UP AGAIN by Jean Illsley Clarke and BUY NEW COPIES THAT HAVE THE BRIGHT ROUND 'PRESS ONs' !! Your lives will change for the better - please trust me on this.
You, me, 'son', do not have 'parent technical school' and we do not have 'parent college' before we have our own kids. Many of us repeat what was taught to us or try to do complete '180s' in areas of gross abuse or which otherwise 'rubbed us the wrong way' by our parents.
Also, please see people and this world as all of us, except Jesus, being 'sick' people to varying degrees. Please take a stance of peace and love and mercy: We are all doing the very best we can with what we know at the time including with the life skills we know.
You, me, and 'son', and those kids of his, can all change and grow and become better people. We are sardines lined up in a tin can only if we choose that to be our reality.
Life can be filled with beautiful Mystery and Love and Kindness and change and creativity. Living our lives in Love is creative (not rat forever stuck on wheel). Love is creative. Anything that is evil is dead and stale and has a very boring yet very destructive sameness to it. Love is stronger and more powerful than any evil.
Please trust me. I am wise and I know of what I speak. BTW, the way in which I got wise is called 'school of hard knocks' !! Much of what I advise has come from all the wrong I have done in my own life.
There is a line from a French novel that 'blew me away' at the time that I first read it years ago when I was around age 20. It is (I paraphrase): "And, see, that IS a part of the Mystery of Grace - Grace never comes too late !!". (See Francois Mauriac and writings of Graham Greene, and of course read the documents that tell us of how Jesus lived and behaved.)
Yes, I am a well experienced family law attorney (and trained and exp'd family law mediator as well), and I have seen many, many people engaged in family law 'battles' over many years' time. Best to all of you!