Legal Question in Family Law in New York

Threats of False Accusations

I am a business & community leader. I have joint custody of my 3 children, who happened to be with me on the 3 occasions when I was verbally abused & threatened. Their mom was not happy, and rightfully so, that they witnessed the events and has threatened a full custody hearing against me if it persists. My fiance's 18yr daughter hates me & verbally abused me in front of my children on 1 occasion with the worst language. Admittedly, I yelled back at her and ordered her from my home. She was allowed to return, as her mom & I were living together before the wedding. When she returned to the home she was hostile & rude to me again & when I asked to speak to her about it she again began screaming at me. She said it was because I wouldn't allow her more time to get ready, but honestly I felt she was stalling. I gave her several hours, knocked on her door several times and was told she wasn't ready each time. During her screaming she threatened to call the police on me, and her mom had to take the phone from her. She left, but returned, & when I said it was a bad idea, she started screaming again and threatened to call the police again if I didn't leave her alone. I was scared & panicked &called them myself to put her out. Was I right?

Asked on 1/06/06, 1:49 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys


Re: Threats of False Accusations

Of course, you have the right to exclude anyone from your home that does not have your consent or license to be on your premises.

However, in response to your question re whether you are generally "correct" in the way you are handling this matter re your fiance/or wife and her daughter and your children, the answer is, obviously and emphatically NO.

It appears that All three of you, are out of control. Otherwise third parties and police involvment, in your private family business, would not be necessary and would not have occurred.

At this juncture, you should "back track." Despite modern ideas and fantasies about "blended families." You need to realize that the only way you can protect yourself (from possible criminal action, even if bogus) and your relationship with your children, given the facts you described, would be to live separate and apart from the mother and end ALL further contact with the daughter. Except when and unless, you are in a supervised theraputic setting.

Mother and daughter MUST address and resolve their issues, with each other (via counseling), before you and mother can even begin to have a workable situation that includes you having contact with her daughter, even in the most limited way.

Again, don't risk your children being affected and "infected" by your "second family" pathology. It is certain they already have enough to handle with the loss of their mother and father household.

Good luck,

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Answered on 1/06/06, 3:23 pm

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