Legal Question in Civil Litigation in New York

Misleading our daughter in helping pay for her upcoming wedding

my ex husband and I have a daughter who is 21 years old and planning a wedding this coming May.

We have been divorced since she was four. He has an excellent job and only paid $40.00 per week support. No medical and no activity in our daughter's life as far as proms, school sports, etc. Now that she wants to marry, she felt the least her dad could do was help her with her wedding. He agreed and it has been 3 months without any solid action in the matter. He has hurt her deeply over the years with his rejection of her most of the time and now she felt her really was interested in her big step of marriage, and although he says he'll help, he hasn't come through. If my present husband did not put up the deposit for the hall, she would have lost the place she chose for the wedding.

I want to know if there is any legal action I can take for another breach of promise he has committed against our daughter.


Asked on 8/31/99, 7:26 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys
Harold M. Weiner Coles & Weiner, P.C.

Re: Misleading our daughter in helping pay for her upcoming wedding

Unfortunately, there is no such cause of action in

New York as " breach of promise ". The remedy for a guy like this, you have already taken. He is your EX husband. The Anti Heart Balm Statute, passed in 1931 forbids any lawsuit premised on a breach of promise to marry. Unless he put it in writing and she relied on it in incurring wedding expenses, there is no contract or quasi contractual obligation on his part. Just because his conduct is reprehensible does not make it illegal. This is LawGuru.com and not Dear Abby but if I were to switch into my Dear Abby (read D.A.) mode I would say scale down the wedding so you don't need his money and were it not totally the Unchristian, Unjewish and AntiIslamic thing to do, not invite HIM. But that is not feasible. Even the child of Hitler would normally want the father at her wedding. Sorry to be bearing bad legal tidings. This is a moral issue, and as we all well know here, the law is a very unsatisfactory vehicle for dealing with solely moral issues. I am sure there are attorneys who will disagree and strain to find a contract. Save your money for the wedding.

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Answered on 9/02/99, 9:11 am


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