Legal Question in Sexual Harassment in New York

I am a lesbian. My partner and I met at our job (we both are NYS employee's). At first, we kept our relationship a secret as my partner was not out yet to her family. Well, one employee in particular noticed how my partner was no longer dating men...and just kept harassing her about it. Then, she talked to a friend of mine about us and finally bullied it out of her that my partner and I were dating. She then spread news of our relationship throughout the entire office. We both were so stressed and felt as though we were living under a microscope whenever we talked to each other at the office. People stared at us, and some were VERY fake and tried to pump us for information about whether we were dating anyone or not. It was a very uncomfortable place to work. I finally bumped this info up to our big boss for the whole county, and this main woman (we'll call her A) was reprimanded and made to apologize to me and my partner. This was 3 years ago.

My partner and I felt so uncomfortable working at this office that we both took different jobs shortly after this happened. I left first, then my partner. Here's the thing, "A" left after I did and about 1 year later, my partner wound up working at the same place "A" did. Time had passed, and we were both convinced that "A" had learned from her mistakes and had turned over a new leaf. My partner has been working at this office with "A" for a little over a year now. "A" has been great. Always talking about her family, showing how she's putting her life in perspective and focusing on the one's she loves instead of gossiping (she's a notorious gossip). She and my partner even started texting one another about a TV show they both liked. We were both so positive that "A" was a great person and that she would never do us harm again.

Well, we found out just last week that "A" NEVER stopped gossiping about us after all this time. She's been gossiping around she and my partner's work place AND our old work place too (two different counties)! Multiple people came to us and stated that they just couldn't take it anymore and that they needed to tell us how fake she is and never to talk to "A" about anything personal as she is just running around and twisting every word we say.

The bottom line is my partner and I are rather normal people. We go to work, then we go home. We leave to see a movie or go out to eat, visit family, go grocery shopping. Neither one of us drinks. We're boring! Not really a hot topic.

"A" has made us feel so uncomfortable all over again. People at my partner's new job were acting VERY strange around us at the last work function. People who used to think the world of us, barely speak to us without losing eye contact. We don't want to have to move jobs again over this woman, but "A" needs to be stopped. She's in a position of authority now, since this new job, and my partner and I are worried she may harm our career in some way if we turn her in to Human Resources...is this sexual harassment? Does this violate the SONDA Act? Is this a Civil Rights issue?

Please help, I'm beside myself over this and my partner had such a horrible experience with all of this that she went right back in the closet and never came out to her family. Please help?


Asked on 1/04/10, 4:33 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Locksley Wade Law Office of Locksley O. Wade

This is a very long fact pattern, however, you have not presented any fact that would lead one to believe that you or your partner have suffered any adverse employment action with respect to the laws against workplace discrimination. What you may consider doing is sending a letter to human resources outlining your concerns that "A" may be contributing to creating a hostile working environment that may impact you and your partner sometime in the future.

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Answered on 1/10/10, 5:40 am


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