Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Afraid For Daughter

I have suspected my husband of porno activities on the net and have logged his internet relay activities. He is downloading pornographic material specific for teenage girls 14-18. He is downloading these things direct file download from others on the same server/channel. I am collecting the logs. We have a 15yr old daughter and I could just throw up. I'm keeping my mouth shut right now but want to know what legal avenues are available to me with this information and the safety of my daughter. I cannot work with or tolerate this going on in our marriage or our home. I'm afraid now for our daughter. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Sickened wife and mother


Asked on 7/29/01, 7:36 am

1 Answer from Attorneys

Glenn R. Tankersley Regency Legal Clinic

Re: Afraid For Daughter

First, let me point out there is a lot of difference between looking at pictures and actually doing what is done in the pictures. I watch baseball games all the time; I am not anywhere near playing third base for the Yankees, although I would dearly love to.

That said, there is abundant evidence that SOMEthing is going on, at least in your husband's head. Talk to your daughter in specific, NOT general terms, about whether this has impacted on her in any way. At fifteen, if you approach her openly and, I must emphasize, WITHOUT any pressure on her, you should get an honest, straightforward and accurate answer.

Now, if there still seems to be something to it, consult with a divorce attorney about what your legal options are. Consult with a trusted clergyman, psychologist, or family physician (some kind of professional familiar with these kinds of problems) about the social side of it.

If, after that, you are still convinced your daughter might be in danger, contact your local Social Services Department about what should be done in terms of an investigation.

Remember this, though, once you get Social Services involved, their teeth will be in your life, your husband's life, and, most important, your daughter's life, for the long haul. Don't do it lightly and don't do it without being relatively certain that your daughter IS, in fact, in some kind of danger.

If you decide, after consultation with objective professionals, that a complaint should be filed, file it and do so with gusto. But look and think before you leap.

And good luck, to you, to your daughter, particularly, and to your husband as well. Hopefully, all this will have a somewhat happy ending, even if that ending includes divorce.

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Answered on 8/02/01, 9:54 pm


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