Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Concerned Stepmother

My husband is a Marine who is stationed in AZ. He left his son two years ago in VA in order to provide him with Medical insurance. He has never made any legal through the courts. He has been paying child support on an amount that they agreed on. For years the mother has been threatening to not allow my husband to see or talk to his child unless he does everything she wants. My husband is able to see his son twice a year for two weeks when he is allowed to go on leave. However, when he is there, the mother makes it difficult for him to take his son to certain places or go visit certain family members. In other words she places restrictions on where he can and can not take their son. My husband feels as if he has no rights and has to ask the mother's permission to take his own son places. How do we go about legally establishing a visitation schedule where she is unable to control the time he spends with his son. Please advise.

Concerned Stepmother


Asked on 1/05/05, 3:39 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Fred Kaufman Fredrick S. Kaufman, Esquire

Re: Concerned Stepmother

Fathers custody and visitation rights

I assume by your facts that father is in the military, wasn't married to mother at the time of conception and has never had a cutody, visitation or support Order entered concerning this child.

First, he has full parental rights today and full custody. So does mother. Both are free to do with this child as they wish. Neither can restrict the other. They have exclusive rights to that child against all others except each other. So father may take the child to Alaska against mother's wishes if he wants. Wouldn't be a good idea though. Tarumatize the child and looks bad to a Judge.

So you must first hire a very good lawyer. He must file petitions for custody and visitation in the Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court where the child resides.

He will ask for joint physical custody although the reality is it's very hard to coparent from great distances and beetween two peoplee who may not get along. Which means someone needs control and the other will be a mostly absent parent.

However, he needs to obtain joint legal custody to have some control over the child's upbringing. He will need to maximize his shedule with the child depending on the logistics of location, schedules and time available.

He has heretofore cowered beneath the magnificient power that is maternal possessiveness. That is why he has you. And me.

Good luck.

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Answered on 1/05/05, 10:35 pm


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