Legal Question in Family Law in Virginia

Living with someone else prior to divorce being final

My divorce will be final within another month or so. We have went through mediation and things have went fairly smoothly for the most part. My soon to be ex-husband has not been good about paying child support for our two children, ages 10 & 13. I have went through DCSE for a support order. He is very angry at me over this. I now live with someone else, someone that I anticipate spending the rest of my life with. My soon to be ex has been ok with this and thinks highly of my boyfriend. Now though that I took him to child support he is very angry with me and threatening to get an attorney and ''sue'' me for living with someone prior to our divorce being final. I am a very good provider to my children. My ex is an alcoholic with an extensive list of charges against him including a child endangerment charge and DUI involving our son when he was 4. I am not concerend about him getting custody of our children, in fact my 13 year old daughter has washed her hands of him because of his life style. I am just wondering is there anything he can do to me for living with someone prior to our divorce being final? Thank you for your time and consideration.


Asked on 3/22/06, 3:47 pm

3 Answers from Attorneys

Fred Kaufman Fredrick S. Kaufman, Esquire

Re: Living with someone else prior to divorce being final

There re judges who will not let children reside overnight in a house where people are unmarried. If you draw such a judge this may be the result. You of course at that point have the option of getting married or throwing the guy out. This is a morality issue and some judges I know don't care and some do.

Good luck.

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Answered on 3/23/06, 3:56 pm
Brian Miller Brian M. Miller, Attorney at Law

Re: Living with someone else prior to divorce being final

Does your mediation agreement or any of your court orders prohibit you from living with your romantic partner? If so you could be held in contempt of court. If not, and assuming your significant other's presence doesn't do your kids any harm, I do not believe you should have any worries.

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Answered on 3/22/06, 3:55 pm
Tiziana Ventimiglia Tiziana Ventimiglia, Attorney at Law

Re: Living with someone else prior to divorce being final

As you can imagine each situation is different and a Judge would look at the totality of circumstances with only one objective in mind: what is best for the children. The judge would look at the present arrangement, your current agreement for custody and orders already in place. The judge would also look at your relationship with your boyfriend: length of union, plans for the future, relationship between your boyfriend and your children, your boyfriend's background and the possibility of him endangering your children's life and so forth. Assuming that he has a good strong solid relationship with your children and that you will get married in the future, a judge would not look unfavorably to your union as long as you do not have a current order that prohibits you from cohabitating with someone prior to being married.

Good luck... and by all means do not get intimidated by his threats... he still needs to pay child support: child support is an entitlement of the children... it has very little to do with you. Good luck.

Tiziana Ventimiglia

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Answered on 3/22/06, 8:56 pm


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