Let me introduce myself.
I am a smart,dashing,fluent in English 29 year old guy,well bred in Mumbai.Now I am working in a top,well known MNC of Gurgaon.
6 months back,I got married to a Delhi girl.This is my second marriage.My last marriage had ended in divorce.
I had met my second wife several times before marriage and she had been honest with me about her nature.She told me that she's shy type,reserved,Indianised,does not like show off,etc etc etc.She did not have many friends also-just 2 or maybe 3.
I married her believeing we don't get such good charactered girls nowadays.
But after marriage I am getting irritated with her nature.To cite a few examples:
1. I move in high society.The guys and gals there are all wearing branded western attires.All are extremely westernized.
My wife does not agree wo wear these.Though she dresses up really well in salwar suit with matching jewellery,but I dislike the fact that she totally disagrees to dress up in western attires.
2. Although my wife is good to me and kind,she is reserved.Does not make friends easily.She is shy to even initiate conversations with new people in a social gathering.
3. On the dance floor she never participates.Despite the people calling her many times,she never agrees.She tells me she doesn't know how to dance and will look foolish if she tries.So it's better not to dance.This again embarasses me,that all the youngsters except her are dancing.While she is watching their dance like an old lady.
4. So I become the butt of jokes amongst my friends.Thay all talk behind my back that I have got a behenji in my wife.
When I try to explain to her that she must become modern and social,she starts weeping that I am too much into show off.I do not respect her individuality,and don't accept her the way she is.She says my love is only based on conditions.
Although she is very intelligent,faithful to me and very fluent in English also like me,she fails to cooperate on the grounds as mentioned above.
Please advise what I should do now.Have I made a wrong choice of marrying her?
3 Answers from Attorneys
It is rare to find people of your wife's nature these days and you must consider yourself lucky to have such a life partner. These are minor issues which can be sorted out after mutual discussions. My suggestion is that you should not take any hasty step in your relationship. Give her some time and space to adjust to your life style. She is a traditional Indian girl and we should be proud of Indian culture and customs and instead of imitating everything western. Don't be misled by people's comments on your wife and defend her at each and every opportunity. This will enable her to increase level of her confidence, respect and trust in you and bring both of you closer.
Mukesh Ralhan, Advocate
the facts mentioned above do not constitute cruelty upon the husband as the husband cannot compel wife to change her values. however, if you think you are not compatible, you may go for divorce by mutual consent.
You problem is not so complicated that you need to go for divorce ... you can thing again and save ur marriage....for this she also need to corporate.... and you both need to have a councelling... for details mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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