Legal Question in Family Law in Illinois

Child Custody, Abuse, Step-Parents and corporal punishment

I am the non-custodial parent of a 4 year old little boy. His mom and I have not been married for nearly three of those years. He has begun telling me things that I believe are abuse but I am not sure what the legal definition of abuse is.

First off, my son (Cameron) has a step-father now. He tells me that his step-dad spanks him a lot. I realize that ''a lot'' is not quantifiable but I have been told that Steps are not allowed to administer corporal punishment. Is this true? If so, does that constitute abuse?

Secondly, Cameron is a rather sensitive kid who cries easily when his feelings are hurt. He tells me that his mom and Step-dad make fun of him and threaten to put a diaper on him if he doesn't stop crying. In fact, my ex called me one night to ask me to have a talk with him because ''he needs to stop his whiny baby bullshit.'' Is this abuse?

And if all of this is abuse, then what burden of proof do I have? (how hard is it to prove?) And is this enough to reverse a custody award?

what is clear is that my son no longer wants to go home to his mom and it pains me greatly to have to do so.


Asked on 5/29/03, 10:01 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Mary McDonagh McDonagh-Faherty Law Offices

Re: Child Custody, Abuse, Step-Parents and corporal punishment

If you feel that there is a change in circumstances that warrants you changing custody, you must go back into court and show the judge that it is in the child's best interests that you do so. I am not so sure that what you are stating arises to the level of abuse. However, physical discipline is always subject to scrutiny.

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Answered on 5/30/03, 11:09 am


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