Legal Question in Family Law in Texas

i would like to know if there is anything the father can do if i send my son to him for the weekend in his pajamas. i have a court order and it does not state that i am obligated to send any clothes what so ever...


Asked on 5/28/10, 10:34 am

2 Answers from Attorneys

Fran Brochstein Attorney & Mediator

As a mother, my question back to you is...how would this make your son feel?

I look at the long term implications. You might win the battle -- but ultimately lose the war.

Think about your son's feelings. When your son is a grown man and you are elderly and need is help. Will he be there for you? Or will he be bitter and not involved in your life.

If you put your son in the middle of your divorce and you make your son's life miserable, he might decide when he turns 18 that he does not want you to be a part of his life.

If you are a bitter and spiteful person, it is going to impact your ability to parent your son. Your hatefulness is going to spill over into your ability to show your love for your son.

Your son is 50% of your ex. He is also a male. Whether you like it or not, you are going to parent with this man the rest of your son's life. There are going to be graduations, weddings, funerals, etc.

Your son is learning from you how to treat you when you get old!

Remember, he gets to pick your retirement home when you are old and senile!

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Answered on 5/28/10, 3:12 pm
Carolyn J. Stevens CJ Stevens|Law

I agree with Ms. Brochstein.

This isn't a board game. Your son should be comfortable in both homes, should be eager to be with dad and then be just as eager to see mom again. Frankly, if you think using your son to get even with your former husband is an okay way to treat a child, when your son is old enough, he is likely to turn from you. Instead, you should be working with his father to create the best possible environment for your child -- the best and most loving environment. That doesn't involve sending a child out in only his pajamas with no other clothing.

That said, in my experience, it's most convenient for both the parents and the child if the child has clothing, books, toys, etc., in both of his bedrooms. Of course, he will take seasonally appropriate clothing with him. In the winter, both parents should share the expense of providing one set of winter coat, boots, etc., which will travel with the child. But he should not have to "pack" to go from house to house other than to take the winter coat, boots, regular shoes.

Both parents should be striving, I mean "striving" as in putting their energy into, creating a peaceful and caring relationship among all three of you.

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Answered on 5/28/10, 9:23 pm


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