Legal Question in Family Law in Washington

Affair and a Divorce

While going through my e-mails a few months back, my wife found some that I had written to an old flame in New York, who I havn't seen in more than 10 years. She (The Flame) had searched me out after her father passed away. Because of the content of these e-mails, my wife has decided that I have been having an affair. What's the definition of 'affair'? I think a little flirtation via the web isn't an affair, because of the 3000 miles between the parties. My wife thinks that ANY contact is an affair. Now she says she can't trust me anymore, because she thinks that I'm fooling around with every woman I come in contact with. Co-workers, my boss, the barista, you name it. This has made my home life impossible and I want out. My wife says that as the ''injured party'' she's entitled to alimony and to have the proceeds from sale of the house to pay for her further education. I already paid for and supported her through her LPN, and we're paying for her to put together a BS from her old school, so I already paid for her education. I'll payoff the bills and split the sale money with her, but I don't want to have to pay alimony. There's a house and a dog but no children.


Asked on 4/04/06, 7:00 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

Jahnis Abelite ABELITE LAW OFFICES, P.S.

Re: Affair and a Divorce

First, Washington is a :no fault" state and that means that there is only one basis for dissolution of marriage; namely, that the narriage is irretrieveably broken. Is that really the case? Your wife may seem to be somewhat insecure in your relationship; but, is there a reason for her to feel that way? Are you a flirtatious personality? In this age of on-line dating, sex clubs and people leading double lives, many people are rightfully suspicious. I would try and repair the damage if possible if you and your wife still love each other. Otherwise, your situation is fairly clear. Having no children is a great advantage to splitting up everything. The law says that marital misconduct only may be used in dividing the property and debts of a marital community (e.g., you and your wife) if one or both of the spouse have used marital assets or credit for non-community purposes, e.g., going to Mexico or Hawaii with a boy- or girlfriend (read that lover) and using community credit cards for the trip or spending community money on the trip. How long have you been married? Long term marriages of 25 years will have maintenance (read that alimony) and there can be educational or property division maintenance to equalize property division and earning capacity (by increasing education). You need to immediately seek the competent advice of a family law lawyer as these situations never have easy and simple answers. Good Luck!

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Answered on 4/05/06, 7:01 pm


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