Legal Question in Family Law in California

I have had custody of my 16 year old daughter all her life. Her father has been paying child support since she was 4. I worked full time in low paying jobs for 10 years to get a Master's so I could bet a better job and become self sufficient. I do have a better higher paying job now but am also $145000 in debt and so ironically am still living from paycheck to paycheck and barely that. AND I have an angry teen who tells people she has been neglected by my not having been around more while I got my degree and worked. She really WAS never alone and never neglected - she was always with extended family when I was at school or daycare or school herself. She was always loved and adored. I thought I was a good mom. I am totally square no drugs no alcohol no abuse no problems. She just doesn't like me trying to get her to go to school, obey laws, be in by curfew, etc. She's been hanging around a bad crowd and getting bad input, and she's been spiraling out of control for the past year. Since August 2011 she has become a habitual truant, smoking dope she has gotten from her dad a retired sheriff - nice saying she has anxiety depression stress etc. I've tried everything I can to help her counseling medication in and out of three different schools . Three weeks ago rather than go to school she ran away. Missing persons report was filed. No word as to her whereabouts - her father denied to Sheriff's Departments in the city where I live and 75 miles away where he lives knowing of her whereabouts - and I just got served court papers last week saying she didn't like me and wanted to go live with her father who it turns out had been hiding her from the whole time. I love her but don't want to force her to live with a mom she hates or for myself to have to continue to live with the daily stress of an angry teenager anymore or to fight him in court anymore. So I'm willing to give up custody. There is no abuse drugs alcohol or anything on my side - just a teenager going through issues who doesn't like her mom. I've been trying to save her from herself trying to get her to go to school trying to get her all the help possible trying to keep her from ending up arrested or going to Juvenile Hall etc. But I give up. I just want her to be happy, and maybe finally have the chance to be happy myself. When we go to court I'm going to say I'm willing to let him have custody if that's what they still both want by June's hearing date. But that will entail an IMMEDIATE move on my part from the 2 bedroom apartment we lived in that depended upon my entire income including child support. I will need to downsize to a tiny less than 500 square foot apartment I've found nearby almost overnight to lower my expenses by the $750 I won't be getting anymore AND to be able to start paying him child support. I seriously do not even know at this point how I will even accomplish a move. I have nothing - no savings - only debt. Will the court allow me any sort of grace period before I have to start paying child support to him so that I can get re-situated or just say "tough luck" and order me to start paying immediately whether it means I am evicted and homeless in the process or what?


Asked on 4/23/12, 1:13 pm

2 Answer from Attorneys
Arlene Kock Law Offices of Arlene D. Kock APLC

You really must meet with an experienced family law attorney to explore your legal options. If your income is substantially less than father and you end up with a liberal timeshare with your daughter, your ex may still be obligated to pay you support for the child. As part of any new parenting order, you should request counseling with your daughter to address the conflict and a review hearing with the court to really see if your daughter intends to remain with her father.

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Answered on 4/23/12, 2:30 pm


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