Legal Question in Family Law in Maryland

How does adultery effect child custody?

My husband is accusing me of commiting adultery, based soley on rumors his friends have been telling him. I don't feel that we will make it through our marriage with the lack of trust that now exists between us. I told him I wanted a divorce and his reply was that he would get custody of our two year old daughter because of what I supposedly had done. I was a stay-home-mom for almost two years, my daughter loves me and her father very much, and I know I am an excellent parent. Is it true that adultery automatically determines who will recieve custody of our daughter?


Asked on 11/13/02, 7:44 pm

3 Answers from Attorneys

Re: How does adultery effect child custody?

It is difficult to prove adultery, particularly if it did not happen. Nevertheless, if it is proven, it is only one factor of many that effect child custody. If you think your marriage is over, now is the time to sit and talk with a lawyer. A lawyer can give you advice on how to protect yourself in case of a seperation.

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Answered on 11/13/02, 8:03 pm
Ana Avenda�o Law Office of Ana Avenda�o

Re: How does adultery effect child custody?

Basically, no. The fact that someone commits adultery is not, in and of itself, a reason to deny custody. The court will focus on a variety of factors to determine what's in the child's best interest. The court looks for who the psychological parent is (the more involved parent), and who takes the child to doctor's appointments, etc. It's very rare for a mother to lose custody of a 2-year old child, absent some sort of mental instability, or other problem (I've only seen it w/ a mother who was drug-addicted). I can't give you a definite answer, though, because this is all very fact-specific, and also depends in part on where the case is filed etc.

The only thing that adultery really gets your husband is the ability to file for divorce immediately--instead of having to wait for the one year separation period. If he does file, you should talk to a lawyer because it sounds like you might need him to support you and your child.

Feel free to contact me via email or phone (301-990-9280).

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Answered on 11/13/02, 8:38 pm
G. Joseph Holthaus III Law Offices of G. Joseph Holthaus

Re: How does adultery effect child custody?

First, let's not confuse the grounds for divorce with the factors for child custody. Sure, he can get a divorce if he can prove adultery. And, all he need prove is affection and opportunity, that is that a man (or woman) had sexually oriented affection for you (i.e., the evidence might be someone who saw you kiss) and then opportunity (i.e., you were away for a period of time and can be placed whether directly or by a sustainable inference at the place of the sexual encounter). But, this all goes to the grounds for divorce.

Now, all this said, adultery is something that a court will not look upon kindly where the act or any of its affect can be shown to be detrimental to the well being of the child. Let's be clear here, homosexual relationships outside of marriage have resulted in custody being granted upon a homosexual. The basis of custody lies in the welfare of the child.

The best interests of the child is a standard that is set forth with judge-determined factors. No factor is determinative. All factors are weighed by the judge. If you are in a situation that may result in a divorce and custody matter, you should speak with an attorney. Action should be taken on you part to protect your legal position.

As a stay-at-home mother you should be commended for your efforts. Do not engage with an attorney who does not want to push this "factor". Moreover, you should consider an attorney who can have a private investigator take a look into your husband's activities.

G. Joseph Holthaus

(410) 799-9002

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Answered on 11/13/02, 11:19 pm


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