Legal Question in Family Law in Texas

my son's father and i were in a relationship for almost 4 years we lived together the entire time and presented ourselves as husband and wife but we never got legally married and about three and a half months ago i decided to leave him because i got tired of the constant physical,verbal,and emotional abuse he put me through and in the beginning of january he started dating this 32 year old woman with 5 children who happens to be a paralegal for a family law attorney their getting married this weekend and 2 days ago my ex called to tell me this woman is pregnate with his child,this woman told my ex that she dosen't want to be with a man who has a child with another woman because she didn't want to deal with all of the drama it would cause, then she told him that he should sign over his rights to our son to his parents this new woman wants my ex to have nothing to do with our 3 year old son and he told me that he would only sign his rights to his parents so that he knows that he can still occasionally see our son when our son is at his parents house but he wont have any physical or financial responsibility for our child but i really dont think that he should be able to just pop in and out of my childs life that would cause psychological and emotional damage to a 3 year old espically since my ex was in our son's life everyday since he was born but i'm also not very familliar with the texas laws on this matter or my options i have made an appointment for a consultation with a board certified family law attorney on friday but before i go i really just wanted to get some more information so i know what questions to ask the lawyer like is there any way i can have his rights legally terminated but he will still have to be financially responsible for our son without without him having to sign over legal rites to his parents because he told me that there has to be two partys to care for our son that he cant just give me 100% custody. i really just want to be more prepared for my consultation so any legal advice or information you could give me would be greatly appreciated. thank you for your time :)


Asked on 2/08/12, 12:37 pm

1 Answer from Attorneys

M. Elizabeth Foley The Law Office of M. Elizabeth Foley

The way you describe him, it really does sound like you and your son are much better off without this guy. Unfortunately, it's not going to be that easy. The circumstances you've described sure sound like a probable common-law marriage to me. The test on that is that you have to be living together, consider yourselves husband and wife, and hold yourselves out to others as being husband and wife (so did you introduce each other to new acquaintances as being spouses or something else, did you file taxes as a married couple, sign a lease as a marred couple, things like that). If you are "common-law married" that counts just the same as "legally married" in Texas, and he cannot marry this other woman without committing bigamy.

Paralegals do not always know quite as much about the law as they think they do, in my personal experience, and it sounds like she's convinced him of a number of things that just aren't true. Child support and the right to a father-child relationship are your child's rights--not yours. The court will not let you agree to no child support just because he wants to move on. If you have a documented recent history of domestic violence, the court must consider that when making custody and visitation decisions, to minimize any potential danger to your son. Supervised, restricted visitation is the usual solution to that situation. If he doesn't want to see his own son, then perhaps something could be worked out so that he could see his grandparents instead (the specifics may depend on how stable and trustworthy they are). Regardless, he'll need to pay child support--neither you nor he have the option to just waive that. I'm sure that the attorney you're seeing Friday will have more constructive suggestions for you, but please just keep in mind that while both you and he might rather just delete him from your son's life, your son still needs a father, to whatever extent he can get one. I'm not one to gamble, but I'd be willing to lay down some serious money that if he does somehow managed to legally marry this woman, it won't last for long, so try not to stress too much over that.

My only other suggestion would be that you do whatever you can to put together as much evidence as possible for your attorney an advance--any documents the two of you signed together as husband and wife, a list of witnesses who consider you to be married, evidence (emails, texts, etc) about his statements that he doesn't want his own child and that this woman seems very hostile toward your son, evidence of the domestic violence (judgments for any convictions, offense reports, ER records, and so on), and records regarding any property you have that will need to be divided. Good luck--I hope things calm down for you and your son.

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Answered on 2/08/12, 1:15 pm


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