Legal Question in Family Law in Massachusetts

Hello. I am in need of an immediate help. I am officially a single mother of two little girls. I don't work since I have no money to pay for babysitting, and even if I get a job I will have to give all my salary away for this, so there is no point to do that before I get college education. I am in between colleges. I live with my boyfriend, he works and pays apartment rent and utilities. I simply have nothing except my girls. He never ever spends time with them. When I ask him at least go to the zoo or a museum with them on a weekend, he always refuses and leaves to play volleyball or go to the gym or do something else he enjoys. I have absolutely no life. It has been an abusive relationship. He is very egotistic, he only thinks he has one life to live so since he earns money he spends it for his pleasure - goes away on vacations, goes to bars, parties, movies. I stay home with my kids, and there is noone else to help me take care of them. If you ask him, he does not even know where the girls' clothes are or what they eat. He is not a father at all, he only likes to be called one and show his friends how cool he is because he is a father. And still, I did not do anything, because I kept a dream that he will grow up and change one day. I tried to be a good "wife", I do everything for him, but the more I do the worse it gets.

Yesterday he decided to go away for 3-4 days to see his father who is in a bad condition in a hospital and then spend time with his friends whom he hasn't seen for a long time, and I did not want to go because the hurricane was coming and it was a bad idea for the kids. It is a 4 hour drive one way, and all just so that he could play volleyball or play cards or video games with his friends. Nothing for the kids. I explained him all that. He said that I am ruining his vacation and called me all kinds of names. He said he would go with my older daughter and take care of her the way he thinks is right. I am still in my right mind, so I did not let him take her. I don't believe that he can suddenly learn to take care of her, especially since she is a "special" kid with developmental delay due to autism. After a huge fight he said that since I don't give him his daughter when he wants it, he is leaving forever, and that I should start thinking what to do because I will be thrown out of the apartment in a month, because I can't pay. After that he drove off. He did not even ask me if I had any money left to feed the kids, or if I have gas in the tank to drive to a store or an emergency room if anything happens to the kids. That shows exactly how much he cares. The car, by the way, belongs to my parents, he only pays the insurance monthly, but if he doesn't, I would not be able to use it.

I can tell a lot of things, but the main problem now is - what do I do? I think, this relationship has finally come to its unfortunate conclusion. I am so tired of all this that I do not want to see him ever again. Now, not him, but I want to end this. I deserve a life too, and my kids deserve not to see this. All I want is child support, and I need it right away, or I will really get thrown out and starve. What do I do? Where do I go? Please, help.


Asked on 8/28/09, 9:21 am

3 Answers from Attorneys

Laurie Martucci Wagner Law Associates LLC

You need to file a complaint to establish child support in the probate court in the county where you live. If paternity has not been established, you need to file a complaint to establish paternity and child support. (You need to file a separate complaint for paternity for each child). If paternity is not established and your boyfriend contests it, then genetic marker tests may be ordered.

You will need to arrange for your boyfriend to be served by a constable or sheriff and then the court will schedule a hearing. The court clerk can provide you with the papers you need to file.

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Answered on 9/02/09, 9:52 am
henry lebensbaum Law Offices of Henry Lebensbaum (978-749-3606)

I agree with Laurie.

You must to this right away.

If you do not have funds, you should file an affidavit of indigency, and the court will approve and assist in serving him with the complaints for paternity.

Good luck.

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Answered on 9/02/09, 11:58 am
ERNEST BIANDO LAW OFFICE OF ERNEST T. BIANDO, LLC

I also agree, you must do this right away.

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Answered on 9/03/09, 10:17 am


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