I am married 10 years this year and I am contemplating divorce. We just don't get along and haven't for a long time. I have been asking him to go to marriage counciling for a long time and he won't go saying its a waste of money.he is also out of work right now for the 4th time in our 12 years together. We have a 3 year old son and I am trying to understand how custody might likely play out -I would never prevent him from seeing our son and he is a great father but my son is very attached to me and I cannot imagine not seeing him - any thoughts on this?
2 Answers from Attorneys
All custody decisions are made "in the best interests of the child". If he is a great father and you are a great mother, it is likely that you will share joint legal custody (meaning that you will jointly make all important life-time decisions concerning the child) and parenting time will be divided in some fair manner. Since neither of you will then be with the child 24/7 or as much as you had been when you were together as husband and wife, there will be times when you will not see him. But children tend to adjust to any type of parenting time situation as long as the parents remain cooperative and positive and say nothing bad about the other parent. The best situation for the child is for both parents to be encouraging to the child and speak positively to the child about how good it is for the child to have alone time with the other parent.
Keep in mind that this advice is based purely on the little bit of information that you have given to me. There certainly may be other factors that would change my opinion. Further, no one can rely on advice from an attorney who has not been retained. Since it appears that you have not retained an attorney, you should contact a family law attorney to discuss your matter in more detail. Only then will you be able to rely on the advice. Good luck! Rob Gleaner
Custody depends on a lot of things. Questions that I would ask you: if you have primary custody, what will your child's life look like? Who will take care of him and when? Daycare before school and after school? what would it be like if your spouse took primary custody? why is it better for your child to be with you instead of his father as primary care-giver?
You want to set this up carefully and then go to court to make your best argument.
There is a lot at risk here, and you do not want to lose all of that.
You need a lawyer to sit down with you and give you some advice.
I can explain things in detail in person after we talk. I will explain what legal issues I see, and what I can do to assist you.
This will be a free consultation. After we talk, you can decide what you would like to do.
Give me a call, make an appointment to come see me, and let's get moving on this for you. No charge for the telephone call and no charge for the first office visit.
Robert Davies, Esq. 201-820-3460
The Davies Law Firm, P.A.
45 Essex Street, Suite 3 West
Hackensack New Jersey 07601
AND NOW THE DISCLAIMER:
Please keep in mind that my response is just a general comment on your question, and not legal advice. I have answered based upon the law of the State of New Jersey where I practice; the laws in other states may be very different, and may result in very different outcomes. Your question and any response does NOT create an attorney-client relationship between you and this law firm. The exact details of your situation and things that you have not mentioned in your question can completely change the response I gave. You can not rely upon what I have written as legal advice, because I do not have all of the information that I need to advise you, I only have the very small amount of information that you put into your question. To get legal advice that you can rely on and use, please contact me directly.
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