Legal Question in Family Law in Oregon

I have court ordered visitation for the father of my 2 year old. After a year of following this, the hand offs continue to get harder. She knows the second we get close to his house and will burst into tears begging me to just take her home. If I have him pick her up from my house, she will scream no daddy and run into my arms and bust into tears, clinging to me. It's so bad that she will try to claw her way out of his grip and I can still hear her screaming as he drives away. I took her to a child psychologist who was able to tell me that she feels unsafe going to his house, and one way it shows is that she will refuse to take her beloved security blanky with her. This same phychologist told me that if I lose my battle for sole custody, she would continue to help me build a case on my daughter's behalf. I am scheduling my next appt with her this week, so that I can start this process. I'm wondering what I can do, information I can collect...so that I can stop this torture on my daughter. It breaks my heart to see her act that way, and she takes it out on me in anger when I get her home. She is initially so excited to see me, will cling to me, and most times will refuse to even say goodbye to her dad, just points to the car and says she wants to go. I've even had my 2 year old figure out how to open the car door, so when I took too long she climbed right in and put herself in her seat and turned her head away from him. Please help...this is torturing us both.


Asked on 1/21/12, 6:50 am

1 Answer from Attorneys
David Clarke David C. Clarke, Attorney at Law

You need to get a lawyer to guide you through this. Ask friends for a referral or call the Oregon state bar association. Talk to the lawyer about modifying the parenting time order because of the child's issues. Work with the father to find what works for your child. I mean what environment, situation, etc., makes visiting with father tolerable. For example, is there a third party's home (relative or friend) where the child would feel comfortable having time with the father? Or would shorter visitation more frequently help? The child is very young and likely to be feeling a lot of anxiety. Also, make sure the psychiatrist is competent to work with a child of this age.

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Answered on 1/21/12, 11:26 pm


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